This really happened. I am still trying to wrap my brain around it.
Its 12:36 in the a.m. Joel and I are in bed discussing my theory of how Putin in secretly using the Olympics to take over the world. He not going for it, just so you know- but would love to see me as a commentator. He would like me to share my thoughts with the world. I choose to believe its because he thinks they are that brilliant.
Number 5 walks in. Emma. She is six years old, and petite for her age- with gorgeous hair that flows down to her waist. Her face is also covered in chocolate, and she is very upset.
"Mom..Dad.." in a super weepy, tiny, mouse-like voice.
I sit up. Now - I see her face. All I can say is "What..?"
"My tooth is loose, and it hurts."
We don't reply.
"Its this one." She wiggles one in the front.
Joel mumbles: "Just go to bed, it will be better in the morning."
I say: "Wait- what is on your face?"
Emma: "ummmmm....I think it might be chocolate?"
Me: "Why do you have chocolate all over your face?"
Emma proceeds to explain: "Sometimes when you eat it, it gets soft and spills out of your mouth. If you don't have a nakin (napkin) or a towel, then it can get smeared on your cheeks and stuff."
Me: "No, I mean WHY do you have chocolate...like at all?"
Emma: "Its my Valentines chocolate."
Me: "...why are you eating it at almost 1:00 in the morning?"
Emma: "I was at the table. Its mine. I can have it whenever I want. My tooth really hurts. You aren't helping me very much."
At this point I am amazed at how ridiculous this situation is, and Emma's complete lack of understanding. She also looks like on orphaned waif, and the whole thing is starting to make me laugh. I gather myself...
Me: "Emma- the problem we have here is not your tooth. Its you- getting out of bed this late, and eating chocolate at this insane hour. Do you get why this might be an issue?"
Emma: "Yes, because I ended up with a sore tooth. Next time, don't give a kid chocolate and never tell them the rules."
At this point I have to cover my face. If I crack, its over.
Joel: (He is trying to be very serious here) "I am sorry you have a sore tooth. Please go wash your face and get back into bed."
Emma leaves. I turn to Joel and say "Really? We have to explain that you can't get up at 1:00 a.m. and eat this?"
Joel: "Well, she was at the table- which is a rule. But she wasn't using a nakin. Also, I don't try to use reason with any Woman- be she six or 38 at 1:00 a.m. Just wash your face, and go to bed."
OK- not funny anymore. I went to sleep.
Its 12:36 in the a.m. Joel and I are in bed discussing my theory of how Putin in secretly using the Olympics to take over the world. He not going for it, just so you know- but would love to see me as a commentator. He would like me to share my thoughts with the world. I choose to believe its because he thinks they are that brilliant.
Number 5 walks in. Emma. She is six years old, and petite for her age- with gorgeous hair that flows down to her waist. Her face is also covered in chocolate, and she is very upset.
"Mom..Dad.." in a super weepy, tiny, mouse-like voice.
I sit up. Now - I see her face. All I can say is "What..?"
"My tooth is loose, and it hurts."
We don't reply.
"Its this one." She wiggles one in the front.
Joel mumbles: "Just go to bed, it will be better in the morning."
I say: "Wait- what is on your face?"
Emma: "ummmmm....I think it might be chocolate?"
Me: "Why do you have chocolate all over your face?"
Emma proceeds to explain: "Sometimes when you eat it, it gets soft and spills out of your mouth. If you don't have a nakin (napkin) or a towel, then it can get smeared on your cheeks and stuff."
Me: "No, I mean WHY do you have chocolate...like at all?"
Emma: "Its my Valentines chocolate."
Me: "...why are you eating it at almost 1:00 in the morning?"
Emma: "I was at the table. Its mine. I can have it whenever I want. My tooth really hurts. You aren't helping me very much."
At this point I am amazed at how ridiculous this situation is, and Emma's complete lack of understanding. She also looks like on orphaned waif, and the whole thing is starting to make me laugh. I gather myself...
Me: "Emma- the problem we have here is not your tooth. Its you- getting out of bed this late, and eating chocolate at this insane hour. Do you get why this might be an issue?"
Emma: "Yes, because I ended up with a sore tooth. Next time, don't give a kid chocolate and never tell them the rules."
At this point I have to cover my face. If I crack, its over.
Joel: (He is trying to be very serious here) "I am sorry you have a sore tooth. Please go wash your face and get back into bed."
Emma leaves. I turn to Joel and say "Really? We have to explain that you can't get up at 1:00 a.m. and eat this?"
Joel: "Well, she was at the table- which is a rule. But she wasn't using a nakin. Also, I don't try to use reason with any Woman- be she six or 38 at 1:00 a.m. Just wash your face, and go to bed."
OK- not funny anymore. I went to sleep.
Best story ever.
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