Valentine Chocolate aftermath...

This really happened. I am still trying to wrap my brain around it.

Its 12:36 in the a.m. Joel and I are in bed discussing my theory of how Putin in secretly using the Olympics to take over the world. He not going for it, just so you know- but would love to see me as a commentator. He would like me to share my thoughts with the world. I choose to believe its because he thinks they are that brilliant.

Number 5 walks in. Emma. She is six years old, and petite for her age- with gorgeous hair that flows down to her waist. Her face is also covered in chocolate, and she is very upset.

"Mom..Dad.." in a super weepy, tiny, mouse-like voice.

I sit up. Now - I see her face. All I can say is "What..?"

"My tooth is loose, and it hurts."

We don't reply.

"Its this one." She wiggles one in the front.

Joel mumbles: "Just go to bed, it will be better in the morning."

I say: "Wait- what is on your face?"

Emma: "ummmmm....I think it might be chocolate?"

Me: "Why do you have chocolate all over your face?"

Emma proceeds to explain: "Sometimes when you eat it, it gets soft and spills out of your mouth. If you don't have a nakin (napkin) or a towel, then it can get smeared on your cheeks and stuff."

Me: "No, I mean WHY do you have chocolate...like at all?"

Emma: "Its my Valentines chocolate."

Me: "...why are you eating it at almost 1:00 in the morning?"

Emma: "I was at the table. Its mine. I can have it whenever I want. My tooth really hurts. You aren't helping me very much."

At this point I am amazed at how ridiculous this situation is, and Emma's complete lack of understanding. She also looks like on orphaned waif, and the whole thing is starting to make me laugh.  I gather myself...

Me: "Emma- the problem we have here is not your tooth. Its you- getting out of bed this late, and eating chocolate at this insane hour. Do you get why this might be an issue?"

Emma: "Yes, because I ended up with a sore tooth. Next time, don't give a kid chocolate and never tell them the rules."

At this point I have to cover my face. If I crack, its over.

Joel: (He is trying to be very serious here) "I am sorry you have a sore tooth. Please go wash your face and get back into bed."

Emma leaves. I turn to Joel and say "Really? We have to explain that you can't get up at 1:00 a.m. and eat this?"

Joel: "Well, she was at the table- which is a rule. But she wasn't using a nakin. Also, I don't try to use reason with any Woman- be she six or 38 at 1:00 a.m. Just wash your face, and go to bed."

OK- not funny anymore. I went to sleep.









 

Life is like a box of chocolates....

I have an embarrassing Valentine story to tell. Its embarrassing because it forces me to admit I have an impulse control issue. I really do.
There is an empty Valentine chocolate box that has been floating around our house. Joel bought me chocolates when I first found out I was pregnant. He knows this is a go-to gift for me, and will always be treasured. I treasured these chocolates by eating them in one sitting. I really did.
The box has stuck around because its an odd shaped heart, its made of tin, and my little girls LOVE it. They play with it non-stop. I find it everywhere- on the kitchen table, in the laundry room, in the car, just random places.
 This morning I was having a very teary, emotional morning...(I have extremely vivid dreams, and the laundry pile was spilling out into the living room, and there was absolutely no. hope. I would EVER catch up. So naturally, I woke up sobbing) so I rolled over, and next to my face on the bed, was the Valentine chocolate tin. I kind of lost it. Just a bit.
I picked it up and yelled, demurely mentioned "That's it- this thing is going in the garbage!"and I threw gently tossed it on the floor next to the bed, only to realize that it was full of chocolate. It was a new box, and Joel had just purchased it this week. For me. For what was turning out to be my Valentines week of morning treats. He gasped, I began a brand new flood of tears with the appropriate wail. Happy. Valentines. To. Me.
So- to make it up to him, I am going to list a few things I love him for. Everyone should know these things.
1. He bought a matching box of the chocolates, so that when I was done eating them- the girls could each have one to play with. He thinks its adorable.
2. He will always 100% of the time, have a pen/pencil and a piece of paper in his suit pocket for one of the children to draw with during church.
3. He always cuts my sandwiches in half on the diagonal when he makes them for me. Just because he knows I like it.
4. He thinks Root Beer is nectar from the Gods.
5. He lets me drink out of his straw and it doesn't gross him out.
6. He always lets me have bites of whatever he is eating. It doesn't even phase him.
7. He makes an effort to develop an interest in anything I love. Just because I love it.
8. He doesn't care that I don't always like his music. (or movies)
9. Things that frustrate me about me, are the very things he loves about me, and he sees them as my secret strengths.
10. He loves me when I am truly myself. Even though that is not always the best part of who I want to be.

He is my Valentine.